Is there a parenting manual on Craigslist?

We took Ezra and his friend to the movies last night. When we got home he showered and came down to say goodnight. Two minutes later he came back down sobbing his eyes out.

Ezra is for the most part a pretty cool kid and doesn’t require much. He is however, a HUGE worry wart and has a history of crying over topics such as:  global warming, the second coming of Jesus, and the war in Iraq. Did I mention he is 8?

“I d d d oon’t wa wan a move” he said in between sobs. He talked about how he will miss his house and his friends and his school. I quickly began to search my brain for the right things to say but I couldn’t come up with anything.  I don’t ever remember thinking so deeply about worldly topics as a kid,  or being upset about the 87 different schools I was forced to go to.  Times like this I wish I could bust out a manual that says: see chapter 10.  child is scared of moving to new school.

Instead I took him upstairs and laid next to  him and told him about how change is scary but sometimes change is good. Like the time I switched schools in 3rd grade and everyone at my new school made fun of me because I had a sweater that I always wore with tiny lambs printed on it. And I guess lambs weren’t cool but  I was also not cool because my mom didn’t have gold teeth like everyone else’s mom and I didn’t have my hair braided with little ribbons like all the other Mexican girls because the person that did my hair was a tattooed thug who only specialized in pony tails.  And I wasn’t catholic so I didn’t get a fancy prom dress for a first communion like all of the other berry pickers.  And that was just unheard of.

But then I met Rayann and we became best friends and we would swim in the summer and get 10 cent ice creams from the artic circle and knit pot holders because that was all that we knew how to knit. I would have never met her or received fancy awards for reading and writing at my new school if I never took a chance!

He felt a lot better after our talk and maybe even a little excited about  how great it is that we can walk and ride our bikes EVERYWHERE!  How he will have first dibs on pumpkins at the pumpkin patch because we are practically next door neighbors with the Sauvie island pumpkin patch. How there’s a St. Johns Parade and he can help me man the company booth this year and the Professor (our cat) really likes North Portland because he is black and well,  his grandma says we are moving in with the blacks so now he will finally be with his people!

After he fell asleep I walked in to our bedroom and told Michael: “I d d d oon’t wa wan a move” “now I am a-feared and I don’t care if we lose our earnest money or that it’s a brand new house I don’t want it anymore!” It was just fear talking because it breaks my heart when Ezra is so conflicted because it doesn’t happen often but when it does it is terrible and I would rather lose 3 grand and live in townhouse forever then to see him so sad.

Michael made me realize that I was just having a moment and that I AM happy to be moving and change is scary but I will get over it just like I got over being laughed at for not being Mexican enough in the third grade!